Orangutan blood is surprisingly easy to wash off. All you need is an equal amount of armadillo blood. Look I don’t make the rules. I just enforce them, arbitrarily.

I apologize for the lateness. I’m sure that you were curled upon the floor, frantically breathing into a paper bag that was mostly your own vomit at that point, worried that today’s comic would never arrive. But lo. Gaze upon today’s comic and rejoice. Rejoice, and please, please, please, throw away the paper bag. Gods, the smell. What did you eat? Orangutan?

I did however, forgot to bring you fresh paper bags. Also water. Can you wait until Thursday?