Cranberry juice is very delicious. Last week I met someone who had some particularly good Cranberry Juice. It was Type O. Uh… “O” for… Ocean Spray. I’ll save you a glass next time I see him.

But I don’t think anyone will be seeing him.

You may be wondering what happened to the soda cup. Well, I know you grew very attached to him. Don’t deny it. I saw the shrine you built. Very nice use of scented candles, I must say.

Well, I’m afraid I have bad news.

He went away to Europe.

I’m afraid it’s terminal.

He’ll never pour again.

You’ll have the whole weekend to mourn the loss. Dry those tears by Monday.